Page 2 of memorial tribute to Laura Martin 2024
From Spirit Bradley.:
We must consider that there are some people who never fit in – who never belong no matter how hard they try. I want to tell you about my beloved friend, Laura.
Laura was born into a family who valued quiet and peace over any show of emotion. Ironically, Laura screamed constantly from the moment she was born. On the third day of hysteria, a physician figured out that this baby was suffering from a very painful thrush infection. No wonder she was screaming! They treated her by painting her mouth and throat with Gentian Violet, relieved that peace would soon be restored.
Unexpectedly, the noise of her screams doubled. Was Laura just a noisy, unhappy baby? How could she be their child?
For years there seemed to be nothing that soothed Laura. She vomited up most of her food and paced all night sobbing, keeping her family awake until she fell into exhausted sleep around dawn.They took her from doctor to doctor whose bewildered conclusions were that some children were just born unhappy or ungrateful. Years later, a specialist discovered that someone had neglected to dilute the Gentian Violet, and that the ten times too strong dose had scalded and blistered her entire digestive system from her mouth all the way through to her stomach.
Adult Laura was one of the most generous humans I have ever met. She had such empathy because she knew what it was like to hurt. One of my fondest memories is of her renting a truck to drive 450 miles to bring my children several looms so that she could teach each of them to weave so that our brain-injured kids would feel successful.
Another example. She loved me so well that she once called me from miles away. Without even saying “hello,” she started the conversation with “Why did you stop taking your Vitamin B12? You have to remember to take them for your nerve damage! I know I haven’t seen you in six months, but a few weeks ago, I stopped being able to sleep because I could feel your body change. Did you run out? Do I need to send you some today?” Of course she was right.
Despite her kindness, Laura did not fit in. I know that part of the reason was because doctors and her family didn’t understand that she was in pain, so most of her conversations for the rest of her life were about trying to convince everyone that she was newly injured. She also started almost every sentence with, “I know that you don’t believe me because no one does.” And within minutes of meeting a new person she would be telling them that no one liked her and that she was one of the loneliest people on the planet.
I have told you this story because it is crucial to understand that if a person doesn’t feel that they belong, it is always because they weren’t allowed to belong to themselves or family. My community described Laura as the final exam on unconditional love, but they always managed to reflect back to her the blessing that she was. Observing her assumption that she did not belong was a teaching for them to finally get past their own disbelief in themselves. Thank you, Laura.